i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
