people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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