Your favorite bartender is back from prision
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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