Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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