So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize