when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
