i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
