margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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