I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
