I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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