Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
