Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
