seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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