Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
