When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
