The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Floor bacon is actually really good
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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