it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
