on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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