I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
