Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
