dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
