Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
