kristin has been a bad kristin
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
