Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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