and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
