Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
