I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
worst night to have a conscience
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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