I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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