Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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