Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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