Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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