Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
