I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
