My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
