You're completely useless in the revolution.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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