This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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