if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
