Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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