that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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