I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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