I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize