Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
