i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
