she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
