ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
