i'm signing you up for texting rehab
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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