Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
