I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
