Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish i was in the wii world.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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