whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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