I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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